The Lord finally revealed to me the true meaning of surrender in the story of Ananias and his wife Sapphira in Acts 5:1-6 ESV:
"But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and with his wife's knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles' feet. But Peter said, "Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to man but to God." When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last. And great fear came upon all who heard of it. The young men rose and wrapped him up and carried him out and buried him."
I took this scripture to my prayer sessions because I didn't really get what Ananias and his wife did wrong. I asked the Lord why was it wrong to keep a small portion for him and his wife? Don't we give 10% towards our tithe and allow the other 90% to our needs? Why did Ananias and his wife have to die? Why wasn’t an example made out of them? Why couldn't this be a learning lesson for them? Ugh!
A few days later, I was singing in the shower 'I Surrender All', and immediately, the Lord placed Ananias and his wife on my heart. Suddenly, I was flooded with the following words, almost like downloadable thoughts:
When you give something with your heart, do you give part of it, or do you keep some for yourself?
When you sing' I Surrender All' do you surrender part of your problem and try to handle the other part yourself?
Remove yourself from it all and HAND IT OVER TO THE LORD.
I had to bow and thank the Holy Spirit for teaching me. I get it now! I get it now! I realize I have a lot to work on...but God. He's willing to show us. Thank you Lord!
Since that revelation, I've been working on surrender. I decided to write down some of my concerns on a piece of paper. You know, those things that only God can handle. Now, when I pray, I envision Jesus holding my paper in His hand. That's right. ALL of it is there. I have no business meddling with anything that he already has a hold of. When my mind wanders on what I can do to make my situation better, I go back to Jesus. Talk about working on behavior modification, LOL. If I can't trust my case in His hands, then what do I have? I would be hopeless, and He is the only hope for this world.
Whatever it is you are praying for, surrender it all. Hand it over. Thank Him for taking it all from you.
When we give, surrender it all, don't keep a piece of it for yourself. When you hold some for yourself, you are dealing with self-motives and self-reliance. It shows your lack of faith in Him. Trust me; He will reward you above all that you can ask or think. It belongs to Him, and He decided to provide it for you. Give what He has called you to give wholeheartedly so that you can be of service to the Kingdom.